Invisible
by Dr. Michaela Quinn
Summary: Before James & Cassandra came to live with the Ingalls, Carrie was used to sharing her Ma and Pa with Grace & Albert. Now, it's even more stretched for Ma and Pa's attention, leaving Carrie feeling invisible to the world as well as Ma and Pa.
1. Albert

**A/N: This story came from fellow fan fiction writer, and a good friend of mine; ****lhotp Carrie****. Thank you for your amazing idea! This story is in first person perspective, so it reads like a play, movie narration, or a book.**

I woke up to my baby sister Grace hollering today. I sat up and heard Ma downstairs trying to console her. Grace may be four, but she still gets on my nerves an awful lot.

In case you didn't know, I have five other siblings besides Grace. I have two older adopted brothers, Albert Ingalls and James Cooper. Albert is thirteen, James is twelve. Then I have two little sisters. Cassandra Cooper is James' sister and my adopted sister. She's nine. Grace is my baby sister. We also have two older sisters, Mary and Laura; but they don't live with us. Mary lives in New York with her husband Adam. Laura lives with her husband Almonzo here in Walnut Grove. She's our school teacher.

I heard Albert getting up next to me. I looked over at him.

"Good morning Carrie." Albert said to me as he wiped his eyes.

"Good morning Albert." I replied and smiled. Then I walked over to the ladder and climbed down. When I got there I saw Pa was eating breakfast while talking to James.

"Well good morning Carrie." Pa said. I sat down at the table. Pa laughed. "Darlin, shouldn't you get dressed if you are going to school today?"

"Yes sir. I just came down while Albert was getting ready and I will go back upstairs later to dress." I responded to him.

"Very well now." Pa stated. Albert came down the ladder ready for school with his books. I walked over to the ladder and went to get dressed. I realized that Cassandra was the only person in our house I hadn't seen yet this morning. I walked over to her bed and saw she wasn't laying there. I went over to the railing.

"Pa, where's Cassandra?" I asked.

"She wasn't such a sleepyhead and she already left for school Carrie." Ma said delicately from her bed.

"Alright, she just wasn't up here, I was worried she might have run away or something." I stated. James laughed.

"Cassandra wouldn't leave without me Carrie, and I don't plan to leave any time soon." He looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back. James is really sweet. I get along with him better sometimes than I do with Albert. I went back and got dressed. I put on a school dress, gathered up my books and went down the ladder to see if Ma could braid my hair for me before school. I walked over to her bed where she was sitting with Grace.

"Ma?" I asked. She looked up at me.

"Yes Carrie?" Ma asked.

"MA!" Albert hollered.

"What's the matter Albert?" Ma questioned putting Grace down on the bed.

"Somebody took my homework paper! I can't find it anywhere." Albert said. Ma walked over to where Albert was standing by the table. She chuckled, but tried not to show it to Albert.

"Albert, I'm sure somebody didn't steal your homework paper. You're in a grade higher than all your brother and sisters." Ma stated. I walked over to them.

"Well can you help me find it?" Albert questioned. Ma nodded.

"Ma?" I asked. She looked at me.

"What is it Carrie?"

"Can you braid my hair?" I asked holding out my brush.

"I can't right now Carrie. I'm helping Albert find his homework. Can it wait?" Ma asked. I sighed and looked at Pa, who gave me his "don't push it" look.

"I guess I can go to school with my hair down today. Bye Ma, bye Pa." I said and walked towards the door.

"Wait Carrie! I'll walk with you." James said. I stopped and he walked over. "Never can be too protective of my little sisters." James smiled at me. We walked out the front door and headed towards the schoolhouse. I walked really slowly and eventually James was way ahead of me. My hair was blowing my face for the first time since I was an infant. Tears fell down my face as I thought about the events of this morning. Ma didn't have time for me. She's always made time for each of us kids, even with working at the restaurant. I can't believe I feel invisible to my own Ma and Pa. I feel invisible to the world. All because of James and Cassandra.


	2. James

**A/N: I'm sorry it's taken so long to write another chapter. **

After school I walked home with Cassandra, James and Albert. James and Albert were walking ahead of me talking about going to help Almonzo and Laura with their farm. Cassandra was walking slowly behind me because she got into a fight with Nancy and was out of breath. Albert and James weren't listening to me, so I decided to stop in and see Ma at the restaurant while Albert, James and Cassandra went to the mercantile. When I walked in the front door the first person I saw was Hester Sue Terhune.

"Hi Carrie!" Hester Sue hugged me.

"Where's my Ma?" I asked her.

"She's in the kitchen making the food." Hester Sue said chuckling. She put her hand on my back. "Why don't you go in there and talk to her?" Hester Sue walked out of the restaurant and I walked towards the kitchen. I walked through the door and saw my Ma washing dishes. She looked over at me.

"Hello Carrie. Where are the other children?" Ma asked. I leaned on the counter.

"They all went over to the Mercantile. Albert and James were talking about going to help Laura and Almonzo, and everybody has been ignoring me so I thought I would come over here and talk to you." I stated.

"Well, you are going to have to go Carrie. You can't stay here. Why don't you head home with your brothers and sister?" Ma asked.

"What?" I questioned.

"Carrie, your Pa and I have to talk to Cassandra tonight about fighting. Mrs. Oleson and Laura brought Cassandra and Nancy over during recess today. That Nancy Oleson is worse than Nellie ever was." Ma said. I nodded in agreeance. "Well Carrie, I really have a lot of work to do. Hester Sue just went across the street for a moment to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Oleson about something regarding the restaurant; but we have to get back to work. I'll see you at home." Ma kissed my cheek and shooed me out of the kitchen while she worked. I walked all the way back to the little house by myself. I'm not sure where Cassandra, James and Albert are; but obviously they didn't care where I was. When I got into the front door, I saw Albert and James at the table with Pa.

"Hi Pa. Can you help me with my arithmetic?" I asked. Pa looked up at me. He had a paper in front of him.

"I'm sorry Carrie; I can't help you right now. I already told James that I'd help him with history and English." Pa said to me.

"Maybe if you would have walked home with us, you'd have had the opportunity to get help like us." Albert stated without looking around to face me. My face turned blood red.

"Albert." I started to say. Pa looked up at me and it seemed like he could read me like a book.

"Carrie, Cassandra took Grace outside to go down to the creek, why don't you go with them? I'm sure when your Ma gets back she can help you with your homework." Pa said

"Nope, she can't. Ma already said she'd help Cassandra sew her dress." Albert responded. I walked out the front door angry and upset with my family and the whole world.


	3. Cassandra

**A/N: So it's been three years since I updated this story. My sincere apologizes and I promise to complete it by Christmas. **

I never did my arithmetic assignment; but I didn't realize it until Laura collected them the next morning. I couldn't look at my sister as I gave her Albert's paper without mine accompanying it. Carrying the assignments back to her desk at the front of the room, Laura looked at all of us.

"We are going to talk about some of the arithmetic problems in the middle section. Carrie, will you please come here." She looked at me and I felt the ball in my throat. It almost made it hard to breathe. Laura handed me a piece of chalk and I walked up to the board to do the problem. I stumbled through it and then put the chalk back before I rushed back to my seat. She looked at the board and then back at me. "Carrie, this was on your assignment and your test next week. It's not a hard problem for you to miss it." She sighed. Nancy's hand was waving in the air. "Nancy, please come up and show us the correct answer to the problem." She jumped up and rushed to the front of the room. After Nancy answered the question, she glanced at me with a self-pleasing smile. "We are going to write essays for next week. I want you to write about the person you admire most. This could be somebody in your family. It could even be the president of our country. Just explain why you admire that person."

* * *

><p>Walking home, I decided to write my essay about Ma. She's always taking care of us. I think she'd like it. I may even give her a copy for her birthday. I walked in the front door quietly to see Ma stirring a pan on the stove.<p>

"Ma, can I talk to you?" She turned to me.

"Of course you can Carrie." Just then, Cassandra rushed through the front door.

"Ma, we have to go see Mrs. Oleson. Nancy was at school today." She wiped her hands on her apron before she took it off. Ma took off the pan and blew out the fire before she headed towards the door.

"Ma?" She looked at me.

"Please take Cassandra's books and watch over the oven Carrie. I'll be home soon."

"Sure Ma." I sighed and took the books up and put them up in the loft. I wanted to lay down in my bed and go to sleep, but Ma asked me to stay up. I don't know why she is always taking care of the others over me. I need help too even though Cassandra is a few years younger than I am. I heard the door close as they went outside. I sat down at the desk and pulled out my reader.

* * *

><p><strong>THIRD PERSON PERSPECTIVE<strong>

"Carrie?" Cassandra called out when she walked into the house. "I don't know where she is Ma."

"She wouldn't leave. I'll check the stove. Why don't you go see if she's in the loft?" Cassandra climbed up the ladder while Ma checked the stove. When she opened it, smoke poured out. "Carrie!" Ma exclaimed. The kitchen filled with smoke as she pulled the pan out of the oven. Carrie and Cassandra rushed down the ladder and Carrie saw the pan in her Ma's hand.

"I'm sorry Ma."

"Carrie, what happened?"

"I went to do my assignments. I must have fallen asleep."

"The house could have burnt down Carrie! I'm just thankful it didn't. You could have been seriously hurt." Carrie didn't know when it happened, but Cassandra slipped up the ladder.

"What happened with Mrs. Oleson?"

"I apologized to Nancy." Cassandra called out.

"I'm sorry for dinner Ma."

"I'll talk to your Pa, we may have to go the restaurant, or talk to Laura and Almanzo."

"I want to go see Laura!" Cassandra exclaimed from the top of the ladder making Ma laugh.

"Let's go to the house and see her." Ma got Grace out of her bed from a nap and carried her to the wagon.


	4. Grace

We were all eating dinner with Laura and Almanzo that night. I love spending time with my sister. She's not home much because she and Almanzo live here, but these dinners together are nice. Albert and I were excited because Pa brought his fiddle to play after dinner. I looked across the table at Ma when things quieted down and we were all eating.

"Ma?"

"Yes Carrie?" She looked at me.

"Would you help me with my essay for school?"

"Of course." Just then, Grace got sick on her seat. Laura and Ma both jumped up to grab her.

"We can take her in the kitchen Ma." Laura said as Grace cried. They walked into the other room. Pa and Almanzo continued eating, so I looked to Albert, James and Cassandra. After a few minutes, I got up and walked into the kitchen. Ma was holding Grace and Laura wiped of her face. The dress she'd been wearing was now draped across Ma's other arm.

"Can I help?" I asked and they both looked at me.

"Go back into the other room." Ma said softly.

"We've got everything Carrie." Laura replied patiently.

"Are you sure?'

"Go on Carrie." Ma responded a little more sternly.

"I have a dress that we can put Grace in Ma," I heard Laura say as I walked out of the kitchen. I went back to the table sitting next to Albert.

"Are you going to play your fiddle tonight Pa?" Albert asked and he shook his head.

"No, I think we'll get Grace and your Ma home Albert."

"Alright."

* * *

><p>When we got back home I wanted to ask Ma about my essay.<p>

"Ma?" I stepped towards her bed. Grace was lying there asleep in Ma's lap.

"Yes Carrie?"

"Can you help me?"

'I'm with your sister. Doc Baker said it wasn't anything to worry about, but she'll be sick for a while."

"Okay." I watched Grace's eyes open as she whimpered and Ma rubbed her back.

"It's okay Grace." I walked up to the loft and saw Cassandra sitting at the desk.

"Who are you writing your essay about Carrie/ I'm writing mine about Pa. James wrote his about George Washington!" She said excitedly. I faked a smile.

"It's late. I'm going to sleep." I changed into my night clothes and cap before sliding under the blanket and letting the tears consume me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm sorry it's so short! Chapter 4 will be up shortly!**


	5. Talking to Laura

I ended up never writing my essay. That's because I never had a chance to write it. Truly, I wasn't sure I wanted to write my essay over Ma. I didn't know who I was going to write about, but then it was time to turn it in. I'd stopped doing all my schoolwork when I needed help. I'd only do what I could do by myself. This wasn't something Laura let go unnoticed. She kept me after school one day.

"Carrie," she said as she walked from her desk over to the seats, "what is going on? You haven't been turning in all of your assignments. The ones you do give me aren't fully completed." She sighed. "You aren't this kind of student Carrie. Ma and Pa are there for you. Why don't you ask them for help if you don't understand? I'm your teacher, I'll help you too."

"I don't want help! Please let me go Laura." I looked at her.

"I'm talking to you, but if you don't consider this conversation I'll go to Ma and Pa."

"It won't matter." I mumbled.

"Carrie Ingalls! Ma and Pa love you very much. I can't believe you'd say that."

"You haven't been home Laura."

"But I know Ma and Pa."

"James and Cassandra are more important. Grace is little. I understand that. But they aren't."

"Carrie."

"I have chores to do. Bye Laura." I walked out of the schoolhouse. I don't want Laura to tell me what she thinks of Ma and Pa when she isn't at the house all the time. I remember how upset she was when Pa wouldn't let her marry Almanzo. He wasn't so wonderful back then. I sighed walking home. Maybe I need to leave. It'd make everything easier for Ma and Pa. That way they won't have to worry about me anymore. I went home and got a small sack with my Sunday dress, a week day dress, my hairbrush and the handkerchief Ma gave me last Christmas. As I climbed out of the loft, Cassandra was standing at the end of the ladder.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be back Cassandra. Don't worry about it."

"Okay." She said wearily.

"Bye." I walked out the door and headed away from the house. I didn't know where I'd go, but I knew I didn't want to be here.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm hoping chapter 5 will be longer than this. **


	6. Carrie's Missing!

When Carrie didn't show up at school the next morning, Laura made a trip to see her Pa.

"Laura," Charles nodded watching her walk to the mill from the school house. She held a firm grasp on her books. "Is something wrong?" She looked down at the ground.

"Is Carrie sick?" Charles looked at her.

"I don't think your Ma said she was feeling poorly. Was she not at school today?" Laura shook her head.

"It was just Albert, James and Cassandra. And it's not like Carrie to not attend school Pa." He shook his head in agreement.

"You're right Laura. She doesn't care to be away from school even when she is sick. Maybe your Ma decided to keep her home. We'll both talk to her." They walked across the dirt road to Nellie's restaurant in search of Caroline. They saw Hester Sue as soon as they went in.

"Charles, Laura, is everything alright?" Hester Sue asked worriedly.

"Is Ma still here?" Laura asked and Hester Sue nodded.

"She's in the kitchen cleaning the dishes." Laura walked in and leaned against the wall.

"Ma? Did you keep Carrie away from school today?"

"No, I woke everybody up. Carrie was slower than usual, but she went I'm sure." Caroline paused.

"Ma, she never made it today." Caroline's eyes widened.

"Oh Laura."

"Pa's here with Hester Sue. We hoped you knew where she was."

"We have to find her!" They walked out to look for Charles.

* * *

><p>On the way back to the little house, Laura shared Carrie's past troubles.<p>

"She's been turning in work that's not finished. Many times she won't turn it in at all."

"That doesn't sound like Carrie." Ma said.

"I know." Laura responded. "She said she was tired of being pushed back for the other kids." Caroline and Charles looked at each other.

"That's not true. Carrie isn't forced away. We listen to her as much as the other four children at home."

"Do you?" Laura asked. "I don't mean to speak against you Ma, but she says she's asked for help on a lot of her assignments. She won't do them without help." Caroline nodded.

"There have been a few times I couldn't help her. She can't mean that once or twice."

"I think she does Ma." Charles crossed his arms.

"The only thing for us to do Caroline is to go find her."

"Almanzo and I will help Pa."

"We will tell Albert what we are doing and go find her."


End file.
